No, we haven’t fallen off the face of the earth, although I guess with the recent predicted ‘end of the world’, it was a remote possibility.  I will say my retail schedule often makes me feel like I’ve left the earth, or at least lost all contact with those I hold near and dear…I love my job, but as a mom, wife, friend, and blogger,  it is tough to get used to the full time schedule and balance it all.

Luckily I have found the time to get Scout to therapy every couple of weeks.  Some days I feel like he really needs it, and others I find myself wondering if it’s truly necessary.  It’s amazing to me how Scout can just seem fine one day and then have something seem like the apocalypse the next.  It’s hard to know sometimes what’s really a problem and what could just be a problematic moment, or a phase.

Recently I’ve been thinking that Scout really could benefit from some Happy Pills.  As time goes by and I see what he’s up against in his own angst-ridden mind, I truly believe his anxieties are getting to the point of needing relief. Tom Cruise can call me glib all he wants, but I know from personal experience those pills can be lifesavers. Scout has inherited anxiety in his blood thanks to his dear ol’ Mom, and adding his big Aspie brain to the mix is a recipe for a serotonin cocktail.

Even with this though, he goes through fazes.  He’ll go through times where I don’t really give it all much thought at all, everything seems to be smooth sailing.  Right now is one of those smooth sailing fazes–and thank goodness, as we had an appointment set up sooner than later with a shrink to possibly prescribe pills only to show up and be told that the doc had a family emergency and we had to reschedule. Of course Scout was thrilled to be taken out of school early for nothing (grumble, notice the grey cloud rumbling over my head) but we all know what a pain in the a** it is to get in with these people in the first place.  Plus it all worked out so nicely with my crazy schedule.  As it is now, C-man will have to take him and I’ll miss it because I’ll be at work.

I want to go in there.  I want control.  I want to be able to tell the doctor just what my baby needs and can you please just make it all better?  But at least as I said, luckily right now I’m not feeling as anxious about his anxiousness because he doesn’t seem as anxious.  (did you get all that?)

It could be because he sees the end of the school year just around the corner.  Ahh, he made it.  One more week of 4th grade and it will be glorious summer.  No homework, no rushing around to make the bus, no projects.  Now just comes my work of keeping the boy off the computer/TV/iPod all day, which is how he’d like to spend his summer.  sigh.

The end of the world would have made this all so much easier.

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