And so it begins….the anxieties that I’ve heard plague our poor sensitive little Aspies but had never really seen in Scout…until now.

Oh yeah, he’s always worried about things most kids don’t worry about–like not ever wanting to live in Florida, because there are hurricanes there–but that kind of thing seemed more like being over-prepared than being a downright worry.   Now, seemingly out of the blue, he’s getting these weird compulsion things.  He’ll be completely compelled to do something that he knows will only make him sad.  Like throwing his favorite car out of the car window as we’re driving.  Or tearing up a favorite drawing.  Or touching the back of his throat to make himself gag.

This has been the most intrusive one lately.  He read in one of his crazy fact books that one can make themselves throw up by touching that thing in the back of their throat. (I’ve always called it the gloobal-globbal.)  Although he’s never actually thrown up or even gagged from doing it, he now thinks he constantly feels a bit sick because of it.  One day he came up the stairs crying because he had touched it and was then feeling ‘strange’–he was petrified he was going to throw up.  sigh.

So there is this, and then there is sadness.  Sadness with things that he did whoever knows how long ago that he still feels guilty about NOW.  Like a time probably four years ago that I showed him an inchworm and he squished it. ??  I’m glad the boy has a conscience, but this is ridiculous.

He has been getting frustrated lately because he says he feels sick a lot of the time now.  I’m thinking it must be anxiety, the poor guy.  I don’t know what has brought all of this on, but we’ve started taking him to a psychologist.  She’s been giving him things to do like throw wet kleenexes against something (outside, thankyouverymuch!) and using a cute little Bully Monster that represents his fears that he can throw around and stomp on. Neither has really helped much so far. We’ve only had two sessions, but I’ve gotta say….I think the boy needs some drugs.

I’m not anti-drugs, but it’s never been something I wanted to take lightly either.  Watching my son be so helpless against his own fears and anxieties will make me try anything to make them go away.  We’re also waiting on the results of some ADD questionnaires as well–heck, why not throw that into the pot while we’re at it??

And so it begins, ladies and germs.  Part of me wonders if it’s the slow bubbling of pre-teen hormones in action, making it’s way to the surface– a larger part of me feels Big Time Guilt because it seems to have cropped up right when I started working full-time.  sigh.