Well, it’s happened. I am no longer a Full Time Mom. As a new Assistant Manager, I am now a full time employee at the clothing boutique I work at! I just finished up my first ‘full-time’ week. The bright side is I love my job, I love the people I work with, it’s fun actually having a ‘title’ and I am making a salary for the first time in my life. ha! This heavy metal Momma is finally moving up in the world.
But of course there is the downside….not being home as much with my family. That’s rough. So far it hasn’t been too bad, actually…but I have just started. I haven’t had a chance to get burned out yet or miss too much that’s going on around here. I’ll probably start feeling bad next week when I have to miss Scout’s Geography Bee that I’ve been so looking forward to. I made sure to ask for the evening off….and then they scheduled the Bee in the morning before school. Who knew??! Luckily when I told Scout he just shrugged it off saying, “Oh, that’s okay, Mom”…the positive side of Asperger’s Syndrome, at least in Scout’s case. He just doesn’t get hung up about that kind of thing. But I do!! I’m so incredibly proud that my son is doing the Geography Bee and I know he’s going to be amazing. I hate the thought of missing out on that.
It’s weird to be entering that new stage of life. V is getting older by the minute. She’s only 14 but already I get small panic attacks thinking of her leaving to go off to college which I know will be in the blink of an eye. Many nights I come home and she’s off with friends, I don’t see her all day long. There have been quite a few dinners with just Scout, the Coreman and I. The shape of things to come.
Scout will now sometimes have to let himself in the house and be here alone for a few minutes after school until The Coreman gets home from work, which is only about 20 minutes later. But still. Can I trust my Aspie boy to not lose his key?? Can he figure out the lock every time? When he gets in will he immerse himself completely in a book and not even notice if the house catches on fire?! I hope I’m not rushing his independence, but of course in many ways it’s good for him as well.
As I check that new age demographic box in magazine questionnaires I realize that it’s all inevitable. Things change. I’m finally growing up and the kids are right along there with me. We all enter new stages of our lives as we go and it’s good and healthy. It’s what is supposed to happen. I love having something that’s all my own–I just hope I don’t miss too much along the way.