I’ve always considered myself to be a ‘good girl’. I know, I know…as a self-proclaimed ‘Metal Mommy’ who’s sung in rock and roll bands and lived in Hollywood it seems iffy, but it is true. I rarely got into trouble as a kid. I was the the child who had to walk my fellow troubled classmate to her mysterious ‘special’ class in grade school, to monitor her and make sure she actually got there. (like what would I have done if she had made a run for it?!) I was also the kid who had to be partnered with the special needs boy in Home Ec because the teacher knew I’d be nice to him. (believe you me, not an easy thing in Junior High when you are trying to make brownies and the boy has his hands down his pants all the time. Not surprisingly, nobody wanted to eat ours.)
So the fact that I had lasted 44 years without a speeding ticket I guess isn’t too far off the mark. Yes, 44 years I managed to sneak by that one, until just a couple of weeks ago. I got nabbed by a guy literally waiting at the bottom of the hill with his ray gun. He actually stood right in front of my car and signaled me off to the side. In front of another car to my right, I might add. I have to admit at first I was a bit confused–yes, I was indeed going over the limit but why he singled me out in the group of all the others right along side me, I don’t know. I was polite, ever the good girl–‘yes sir’, and all that. But afterward the more I thought about it the more irritated I became. This good girl doesn’t want a citation on her record. And after 44 years I would hope the guy could give me a warning. So I decided to fight the ticket.
Now all of that is a long drawn-out story that I won’t bore you with in this post. I can’t tell you the outcome because I’m still in the middle of it. But the point of it being in this blog is the reaction I have been getting from Scout about this incident. The minute I told him he was very interested in every detail, and to my surprise extremely defiant on my behalf. He wanted to know exactly what I did, and what I said–and went into how HE would have handled the situation. All I can say is if it were him that got pulled over I would have been bailing him out of jail.
I should have known. Ever since he was very young he’s been interested in breaking out of jail. huh?! Many of his cartoons are of jailbreaks–tunneling out underground or having a friend come and saw the bars on the window. Where does this defiance of the law come from??!! I have no idea. Nothing has happened in our past to make him feel that way about the law, or police in general. We even have a dear friend who is a retired cop.
I know he’s only nine, but it does scare me to think about a similar situation happening to him when he’s out in the world. One has to learn, of course, that there is a time to say what you feel and lots of times to keep those as ‘inside thoughts’!!!! Especially when you are dealing with the police. Sometimes I wonder if in his mind ‘the police’ stand for ‘rules’, and since my son really does not like a lot of rules he is automatically against the po po. (Isn’t it funny? Aren’t Aspies supposed to thrive on rules and order?! Just another example of how a person with Asperger’s Syndrome is like a person with Asperger’s Syndrome. Each very unique.)
If it were up to Scout he would sit around the house all day long. He would never go to school, never play outside except to go to the swimming pool or play in the snow maybe at the first real snow fall. He would never be told he had to stop what he was doing and go do something else that was not his number one choice to do. Oh boy is he in for a rough life. Basically as soon as you start preschool that life is over. School, then college (hopefully!) then work. That’s pretty much the reality of life, you ALWAYS have to be SOMEWHERE. I don’t know if that’s quite sunk in for him yet. It probably hasn’t for most 9 year olds, nor should it–but then again most 9 year olds don’t think much past their immediate surroundings and the next holiday. It’s the blessing and the curse of having a 9 year old going on 29.
Scout seems to have so much anger in him, and I don’t know why. Generally he’s a really happy kid, but on the other hand he does seem to really look at the world in a negative light. He’s such an Eeyore. I’m really trying to get him to focus on positive things instead of always on the negative, because really one just makes themselves more miserable by dwelling on the things they don’t like about something. Instead of whining about having to be at school, think about the fun things you’ll do there. When he wants to complain about having to go to karate class, I try to have him remember the fun he has when he actually gets there. It’s hard work, for some reason he always wants to go back to the negative stuff and dwell on that. Coreman has even talked about maybe bringing him to a psychologist–it’s not a bad idea. Sigh, let’s add that onto the karate classes and the math tutor. Cha-ching.
Do any of you with kids on the spectrum deal with this same negativity–and/or defiance against the police?!