Ooooh boy. The Temptations are starting to spread in ways that could eventually get much worse results for Scout than a sore tongue. Yesterday I come home from work to find out about an incident at school in which some kid stuck a pencil in his butt. No, it was not Scout, but I guess he and his friend made a big deal out of it somehow and caused quite a distraction in the classroom, prompting the teacher to have them write out an apology of sorts.
It wasn’t the distraction that I’m worried about–I mean really, who wouldn’t laugh at a kid with a pencil in his butt?!–but it was the ‘apology’ that was anything but. (or, butt?? Sorry, couldn’t resist.) It was rife with sarcasm and the only heartfelt part about it was the fact that Scout vehemently did NOT want to admit he did anything wrong. As usual, everyone else is wrong, and he is right. This is his immediate response to anything that happens where he knows, deep down inside, that he is in the wrong. He just can’t even admit it to himself and instead lashes out at everyone else.
This really worries me. As I always think, how in the world will he keep a job someday if constructive criticism causes him to react like that?? Well, he won’t. And there I go again, worrying about something years down the road…but it’s so hard not to. To me, this is just another Temptation.
I mean, as any of you dear readers know, Scout is a very smart kid. He knows right from wrong. So why would he do this when he knows it is disrespectful and will get him into trouble? Because he just can’t resist. He feels he has no control over it. This could potentially get him into so much trouble not only with others, but himself. Very scary for a parent!!!
Next week we are taking him to a new psychologist to give him someone to talk to, someone who might be a better fit than the last. It’s not something we want to mess around with. Maybe it’s getting worse now because at almost-11 his adolescent hormones are starting to rage?? Better try to nip that in the bud now!!
Sigh, it never ends. Just when you think things are going well, something else pops up to deal with. But looking at it from the more positive side, these things coming up are giving us the opportunity to get help for Scout now, before things get worse. I do believe things happen for a reason–who knew a boy sticking a pencil in his rear would create such an opportunity??!
Jan 25, 2012 at 3:44 am
Back when I went to secondary school (age 12-18), I had a very loose interpretation of class discipline. I would arrive late in class because I sometimes went for a sneaky smoke in between classes, have been known to incite small two-person rebellions during school hours and generally being extremely well at focussing on things that weren’t in the classroom.
At a certain point, I was sent to the school principle to get talked to and a “punishment” which was to write an essay of one page on the virtues of discipline.
Me, being in a very jolly and slightly contrary mood and in no shortage of inspiration whatsoever, ended up writing 4 pages that started on discipline at school and meandered through a description of the more disciplined political regimes in the world, ending up with a description of the certain extinction of endangered species. The very last sentence was something like “And that is why it is so important to be taught discipline at school”.
My parents however wouldn’t sign off on it and had me write a new assignment that was slightly more to the point. more concise and above all more in line with the expectations of the principle. It’s a shame what literary gems get stashed away in dustbins or in the back of cabinets.
When I started my professional career, I went from job to job every year and sometimes two to three times a year. I eventually learned something about hierarchy and discipline but I’m still really lousy at it.
I was lucky enough to move myself into a line of business that has been very rewarding and very much in demand. It allows me a certain amount of independence. I don’t have to wear suits to work and I’m almost expected to dress in jeans and t-shirts with band names on them. A weird sense of humour comes with the territory. It took me about 10 years to find my way and about 10 more years to get it right, but I’m here and I’m actually doing something I rather like in a way that does not offend (a lot of) people.
Scout will be allright. From what you write, he reminds me a lot of me
So, give Scout a big knuckle love punch for me. You don’t have to tell him why
Jan 25, 2012 at 3:44 am
Dang, that reply was almost longer than the original post!
Jan 25, 2012 at 9:41 am
And I LOVE it!
Thank you so much for this, Kristof. I’m giving you a virtual hug right now!!!!!
And I did give Scout the knuckle punch, saying it was from my friend Kristof…Scout being Scout, he just did it and went on with his breakfast without asking why.